I Thought I Knew...

I really, really thought I know what I wanted. Jesse and I have talked of building our dream house up in the canyons somewhere. Some where in a small residential area where you're far away from everything. Just us and the kids.

I got a glimpse of what our life could be like tonight. The perfect house, everything about the house was perfect. It's was a Dream almost come true. Jesse was helping his old boss Clay with some programming troubles. So the kids and I got to play and entertain ourselves for a little while.

First of all I have to say, I have never been sent to another room by someone else's husband. Then once we were upstairs playing I wasn't sure if it was ok for me to come back and talk to my husband or stay where I was sent until summoned. I don't get the thinking and logic of some computer geeks.

Now back to my realization. I saw everything my life could be like tonight. The perfect house, the kids are several years older, and the perfect location. Jesse would love it there. But I couldn't help but be uneasy about it. It didn't feel right. We have this small house we are in right now. we aren't cramped, the kids have their own rooms, the only things we don't have that we want are two more rooms. One for a craft room and one for an office. Two rooms that would only come between us and spending time together. After tonight I am seriously questioning what I really want.

~My Family~

From the top left: Laura, Jen, Sean, Daniel, Marilyn, Jaron, Rebuen, Rachael, Jesse

Bottom: Matthew, Samuel, Nathan

Great Grandma and Grandpa Shoell

With all the great Grand-kids and Sammy

Mollie, Atticus, Kimmy, Hayden, Josh and Destiny

My oldest brother Reuben and little sister Laura.

My brother Sean with his wife Jen and their son Atticus.

My brother Jaron with his wife Marilyn and his step-kids Mollie, Destiny, and Josh.

Me and My Family.

My Hubby and I.

The whole sha-bang!

Including My step-Dad David and his parents.

Snow-Men & Snow-Penguins

Every winter becomes more fun than the last with our two kids. Hayden working on his little snow penguins (on the side walk).

How Cute!

Mommy and Daddy's snowmen Kimmy loves um.

After Hayden's penguins were transplanted into the yard so they wouldn't get ruined.

All four of us love the snow! :)

Casualties Of Life

While outside shoveling the snow... Hayden and Kimmy had a disagreement. Hayden pushed Kimmy on the ground. This is the first time Hayden has hurt her to the point of drawing blood.

She tried to stand up, while saying "Ouchy head." I pulled her hood off the check the back of her head. I found a scratch and some bleeding. Then I saw this on the ground in front of her.

I looked at her face and her nose was pouring blood.

After she got inside and all her layers off.

...And her nose wiped off.

She wanted to cuddle her princess slippers.

The little scratch on her head.

Poor thing!

(The face of Princess innocence.)

Some how she knows exactly what buttons to push when it comes to her brother.

~Hayden's Choices~

I love my son. He is a crack-up, and if I do what I need to do to make his day go great, then he makes my day go great. Example: If I remember to stick with the Love & Logic and give Hayden so many choices his head is spinning at the end of the day. Then he has a great day. Here's how today is going.

I picked Hayden up from Preschool and asked him if he wanted to go home, or if he wanted to visit Nana at work. You can probably guess what he chose. We were driving up to the Layton Hills mall (Hayden couldn't see it yet) when he asked me where it was. I told him we were almost there, that I was just taking a funny way to get there. He didn't believe me, he soon saw what he was looking for, The JCPenney's sign.

After lunch and some hugs and kisses from Nana we headed out to the car. We were going to head straight home when I remembered I had a $10 Target card in my purse I was saving for Hayden. Jesse and I got it on Black Friday and thought that was the perfect amount for Hayden for Christmas shopping. I told Hayden I had the money card, and asked him if he wanted to got to Target or go home. Again you can guess what he chose. While walking into the store I told Hayden it had $10 and that he and Kimmy both needed to get Christmas presents for each other, and that if we split the card in half each one of them (Hayden and Kimmy) would have $5 to spend on each other. He was so excited. I then told him if he found something he thought Kimmy might like to ask me if it was to much, or just right. It took both kids about 4 minutes to find the perfect gifts for each other. They were both $6.99 but I figured I could cover the difference. We went to check out, Hayden wanted to put the stuff on the belt. I handed him his money card, he patiently waited his turn then handed the girl his card. She asked me if I wanted it back. It wasn't my deal so I asked Hayden if he wanted his money card back. He beamed, and said yes. While walking out of the store I told Hayden we could take everything home and wrap it. Then I remembered we are totally out of wrapping paper.

Which led to more choices. I told Hayden we were out and needed to go to Costco to get some. Then I asked him what color he wanted, out of three colors I could think of. Then I asked him which characters he wanted on his wrapping paper. He told me he wants blue wrapping paper with santa on it. Then he told he needed to go back to the store, he still needed to find me a Christmas present. I had to tell him he would have to go with his daddy for that. He started planning that trip right away. We called Jesse on the way home and told him about our fun trip to Target. Jesse told me he wanted me to wait to go to Costco, because he wanted to go with.

While driving into our subdivision Hayden started asking me questions and giving me choices. He asked me what color wrapping paper I wanted. Then he gave me three choices pink, purple, or white. I said "maybe red." He told me that wasn't one of my choices. :) So I picked pink. Then he asked me what I wanted on my wrapping paper, he gave me two choices Santa or penguins. I figured since I was being given certain options that I'd better just stick with them (other wise he might chose for me), so I chose penguins. Then he asked me what color tape I wanted pink or purple.

Hayden loves choices, he also loves flipping it around and giving me choices. I love Love & Logic, but most of all, I love my little boy.

Our Little Getaway To Midway

Jesse's work was having their Christmas party. As part of the package you could opt to stay at a resort, or you could drive home whenever the party got over. Jesse and I decided to stay the night. The party was held at the Zermott Resort. We were told we could stay at that resort, or if we weren't going to be drinking that night we could stay at another Resort. We decided we weren't going to be drinking, and that we would much rather stay some where we weren't going to be sharing a hallway with a bunch of drunks. So we stayed at the StillWater which is just off the Hwy.

One of the entertainment options we could chose was going on a sleigh ride at the HomeStead Resort. Jesse and I had to wait for a bit before we could leave for the sleigh ride. So... I goofed off a bit.

The driver and the horses.

Jesse and I before the ride began and we started smelling horse crap. The rest of the ride was disgusting. Jesse and I were so glad we didn't pay for that, it wouldn't have been worth the money to us.

The StillWater Resort just before sunset.

We drove back to the room, and had just enough time to change and make it to Zermott for the party. Jesse goofing off, for some reason that man likes to take pictures of me. ;)

When we walked in to the party they had name tags for everyone with our table number on them. We walked around finding our way to the tables and Jesse intorducded me to a bunch or people, including the CEO and CFO and all of the developers he works with. Jesse and I were at table 7. We were the first to sit down. Then once the party started and everyone took their sets a lady with long blonde hair sat down one set over from me. We all started talking, then someone asked her where she worked. She told us she worked at home, then someone asked her who her husband was. She said Julian. I almost died. Jesse had just introduced me to Julian (The CEO) and he was going to be siting right next to me! I almost died (wait did I say that already?)!!!

Turned out to be a really fun evening. Julian and his wife were really nice and so were the other two couples sitting at our table. Julian even offered me some drink vouchers and at one point asking me what I wanted from the bar. After the dinner was over and Julian got up to start the presentation, I lean over to Jesse and told him I was freak out. He said he hadn't even thought about it or even considered it was all that big of a deal until I said something. So he just laughed at me.

Jesse and I after dinner

On the way back to our room we stopped and got ourselves some food for breakfast. The last time we went to a restore we got yogurt, fruit and scones. It's not very often that I am in the mood for that type of breakfast so I told Jesse I wanted to make this a tradition.

So... yummy!

Jesse didn't have to be in to work until eleven so we ate breakfast then started playing cards. Jesse wanted to play for steaks. I told him we could play for cleaning rooms of the house. Then I told him he probably wouldn't want to. He would end up having to cleaning the entire house. We ended up not playing for any steaks, which was a good thing for Jesse. He lost every hand but one.

Two Reasons Why I Love Snow

Reason #1. This little guy and his reaction every time he wakes up and sees snow out the front room window. It's like it's Christmas morning every time it snows. Then once he makes it outside he starts eating the snow off of everything, even off my car.

Reason #2. This little one up until this year just walked around, and if she fell she would cry until I picked her up and took her inside. This year she is having tons of fun. I get to see a cuter side of her. She tells me "I helpen' you mommy." "It's my gob."

Here's a clip of the cuteness I get to experience.

A Part Of My Testimony

Ok, I can't sleep, my brain wont shut off and I can't stop thinking about Dewey's lesson in Sunday School today. One of the questions we were asked was... What is something that stuck out at you in your patriartical blessing along the lines of family? While thinking of my family and my children one thing popped in my head and that was that mine told me I would be a righteous mother in zion. But what popped in my head after that brought blood to my face and tears nearly to my eyes and that is remembering Jesse's blessing.

Jesse and I were dating when he got his patriartical blessing. He asked me to come, I didn't think it was appropriate but he insisted. While listening to his blessing I heard the patriarch tell him about his wife and what a wonderful woman she would be. I left that room thinking "Jesse's going to marry a really great woman."

Shortly after that I tried to dump him. My thinking was, what is he doing wasting his time with me, he is going to have this amazing wife? He wouldn't have any of it. He wouldn't let me go. Years pass and I still think to myself he's supposed to have this wonderful woman, what am I?

What hadn't dawned on me until today was that Jesse's blessing and why the patriarch had me be part of it was because that woman was me! The way the man looked at me confused me then, how can one man know something so... simple? And how can I not have a testimony of the gospel after knowing all of this now?

And why does it take me so long to figure these things out. If I think back to it, he knew after Jesse's blessing. It's taken me eight years to figure out what this man knew after 20 minutes of being in a room with Jesse, his Mom, Dad and Me? He looked right at me after the prayer and smiled at me. He had me say the closing prayer, then he shook my hand as we left.

What Can You Do?

I am at a loss right now. I do everything I can to help guide my little sister and give her older sister advise. But for some reason my little sister seems to be hell bent on seeing everything I do and say in a negative light. I say funny things and she takes it as me being pushy. I want her to be happy, I don't care who with, as long as she's is treated good. She thinks I'm trying to push her into something. Little sisters can be so... frustrating. Why can't she see that all I want is for her to be happy?

...Anyways here's a few pictures I took tonight at the Hilton.

Atticus, Sammy, Hayden, Destiny, Kimmy, Mollie, and Josh

Laura, Kimmy and Great Grandma Shoell

My Little Sis and Me

Laura

I love you little sis.

Pretty As A Present II

While getting ready for The Ward Christmas Party I pulled this jumper out of Kimmy's closet. I wanted to see if it would still fit. She saw it, grabbed it and said "pretty present!" She wouldn't hold still or let it go till I put it on her. After getting her dressed I had to do her hair. I went and got out the matching bows. She held them giggling and shaking them the entire time I was working on her hair saying "king-gle bells!"

This year she has enough hair to do pig tails, so I could use both bows.

She has been running and jumping around the front room sense putting the bell bows in her hair.

Wearing it one more year before she out grows it. I would love, love, love to be able make this post a Christmas tradition.

Here is Post #1.

You Know You're Married To A Geek When...

"He's not a Programmer, he's a B.A. (Business Analyst)" is a cut. 

Tonight Jesse's friend Jojo wanted everyone to meet up for dinner and bowling. Now everyone showed for dinner. But we did, an it was yummy. This was my first time trying Korean. It was good, but not something I would want to eat on a regular basis. I ate my entire meal with my chopstick. No, that was not planned I would have rather had a fork, but the fork never made it to me or my table.

Jesse and I haven't been bowling in over six years. Needless to say we are rather rusty.

Showing off the sexy bowling shoes...

Jesse's so serious when it comes to bowling.

Me... I'm a goof off.

I had to roll it slow so I could get my inspired shot for the day.

Some of the guys.

Jesse did pretty good.

I got my butt handed to me buy five and six year olds. :)

I'm #5 on this screen.

What Does Mommy know?

Kimmy came up to me and said "my gasses!" Then wanted me to put them on her. I told her she wasn't supposed to wear Mr. Potato heads glasses and that they wouldn't fit. Little did I know...

Yes, my daughter is wearing Hayden's Lightening McQueen shirt. I have been doing laundry and thought everyone was covered until the morning, wrong again! I hadn't done any reds, so kimmy had no clean shirts.

She didn't mind one bit wearing Hayden's shirt. It's getting to small for him, so he also didn't mind much either. Otherwise it would have been chaos. The outfit was cute. Kimmy in leggings, a too big shirt and a matching bow. I'm really liking the leggings look on her.

She's Crazy! No... They're Both Crazy!

My Mother in law that is... And my Brother in law. His Mission papers came in the mail yesterday. Rilla Called Jesse bawling. Jesse knew right away why she was bawling. Here's where the crazy comes in... Right here! 

 Jesse and I were the first to get to Provo and had some time to kill, so we stopped at Krispy Cream. When we pulled up to the window the girl asked Jesse how many dozens we wanted. Jesse had to word his answers very carefully to tell her we only wanted four donuts. We didn't get home from Provo until 11:30. The kids took naps in the car on the way there and on the way home. Hayden also enjoyed sharing our hot chocolate and donuts. I counted all the temples we saw from the free way on the way there and back, I counted 9 temples. This is crazy to me. I don't think there is another state in the world that has so many temples in such close proximity to each other.